pushing myself for better grades.
having perfect attendance.
at least trying to look presentable each day (make-up, straightened hair, etc.)
impressing EVERYONE!
studying till midnight all the time
doing choir AND theatre AND honors/AP classes
going to church & all church activities/duties
hanging out w/ friends
SOMETIMES I JUST FELL LIKE I"M GONNA BLOW UP!!!
i've become to realize i'm not PERFECT.
and i don't have to push myself way too much to be PERFECT.
i mean yes these are great qualities, but stressing wayyy too much than the normal human being should is NOT GOOD.
it's just not healthy!
it's just mostly that i wanna be like my smart friends and have everything that they have, but i'm not my friends.
i am my own person.
i may not make a 28 on my ACT like one friend.
i may get a 23, after he underestimates me, says i'm going to get a 25, when i was shooting for a 27.
i may not get a 3 0r 4 on my AP tests.
i may get 1s...
i may not get the acting roles in all the school plays.
i may be on the technical crew.
i may not make the region choir.
but i may get solos in all of the choir concerts.
i may not wear all the latest fashion.
but i have my own style.
all this time growing up i've been so unhappy, trying to be someone-follow someone else's footsteps, but I HAVE MY OWN.
i have truly realized that I AM MY OWN PERSON.
all this time i've always said, "I'm going to go to BYU Provo, like all the smarties! cause i'm smart, and i'm gonna make it!"
but what if i don't? what if it's just not for me?
i have just been so stereotypical thinking that i am so much smarter than people that go to BYU-I ---- not trying to offend anyone! but that's what i've always thought. idk. but i'm beginning to think, that i'm not the smartest person in the world. i mean i'm smart just not like GENIUS, and not study. I always HAVE TO STUDY, and sometimes still fail after studying ALL NIGHT! (*cough* physics) and i'm starting to be okay w/ it. i've just tryed to keep up w/ all of my genius friends, not being my own person. but I AM. it just took my a while to realize it.
thanks for listening to my ranting, and my thoughts.
lovelovelove,
Kristaaa (;
Looks like you have some great goals set for yourself, Krista!Success in school becomes much easier once you're organized. Keeping your schedule up to date and all your work in one place can provide room in your busy brain for learning and studying, instead of wasting time or losing work. Check out Office Live Workspace for a great back to school tool. It offers you the ability to create, save, access, and share documents and files online for free. There is even a plug-in for MS Office that lets you save your files to your online Workspace directly from whichever Office program you are using. That way, it will automatically back up your file online, and you can simply access them from any other computer with internet access. Never worry about forgetting your essay at home or being unaware of assignments’ due dates.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck,
Kate
MSFT Office Live Outreach Team
http://www.workspace.officelive.com
http://www.facebook.com/officelivestudent
Krista, I completely understand what you are going through! Especially the whole BYU vs. BYU-I! For the longest time I wanted to do what all the other genius LDS students did! Then one day when I was thinking about college, I just had a thought, it was "Kaitlyn, go check out BYU-I" so I did...I spent months praying and I even took my question to the temple because deciding where you want to go to college is such a life changing decision, I wanted it to be right! After lots of praying and searching, I realized that just because you go to BYU-I doesn't mean you aren't smart, you just aren't meant to go to BYU in Provo. President Eyring even said that students who go to BYU-I will be leaders in the proffesion they choose, they will make advances in that proffesion and they will be looked up to by their coworkers! If you ever need to talk, I'm here!! And I recommend praying about where you want to go to college! It'll be worth it!
ReplyDeleteyou are awesome krista! and seriously... things will work out the way they are supposed to! love you girl!
ReplyDeleteaww, krista! it will work out. just be yourself, dont try to impress people to be loved.be yourself and people will love you as you are you and no one else can do that.
ReplyDeleteBYU-Idaho is fabulous! I love it as we constantly have General Authorities on campus! The campus is so tight-knit and you know a lot more people. I never wanted to get into BYU-Provo as it was not my type of schooling, but Heavenly Father puts us in places where he needs us, so stay close to the Spirit and it will work out, maybe not as planned, but it will become a great blessing in your life!
Love ya, girl!♥